Too Young for Love

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Photo Credit: Ryah Williams

by Ryah Williams

Are we too young for love? Almost like asking are we too young for heartbreak. I feel like I’ve experienced the whole Love thing but the reality of it is I have no clue if I really know what Love is. I’ve felt the butterflies, I’ve felt the skipped heartbeats, and I’ve felt the passion. Being in love is truly one of the best feelings. Love is the most powerful emotion and that’s what makes it the most dangerous.

I’m 17, maybe I do know what Love is. I’ve experienced what heartbreak is and it is no joke. I’ve went through the crying and the hurt, I’ve went through not sleeping, the missed meals, and I’ve went through giving myself time to heal and working on myself at the same time. The advantage that impacted me the most was learning a lesson. The disadvantage was believing I had to depend on another individual to make me happy. I should be able to deal with things on my own and not depend on somebody else to give me what I can give myself, but we don’t always see that when we’re in love, we go out of our way to make that person happy. We can get caught in being “fake loved”, although it may feel real things aren’t always what they seem. “

It is said that sometimes people fall in love at the wrong times, we might fall in love with being shown affection when feeling lonely, feeling like there’s nobody there for us. I feel like getting to know actual real love being different from just liking or crushing on someone takes time, but then I also believe that loving someone has no age. But “ Are we too young for love?”

“You aren’t too young for love if you understand what Love is and what it stands for,” junior Ronnetta Harris said.

Now let’s think about that “understand” what Love is and “what it stands for”, at this age I believe it comes down to the maturity level. If you don’t have the brains to “understand” what Love is then how can you love somebody?

“Love can come in many shapes and forms, I think love isn’t determined on age or sex and everything, you could love anything if you have that real genuine feel for that thing or person,” junior Davon Bowman said.

We can also sometimes get caught into thinking we love somebody when we really don’t. You can’t be in love with someone you don’t have any chemistry. Maybe there is a such thing as having a strong feeling for someone. Others say there’s absolutely no way you can love somebody if you don’t love yourself, if I don’t love myself then tell me how can I love somebody else?

“When you don’t love and value yourself people run you over and mistreat you and it’s those you say you “love” that mistreat you the most and because you don’t love yourself enough to be done with them they continue the pattern,” senior Derrion Williams said.

I believe we all must learn how to want ourselves first, not depending on another individual to bring us happiness when we can depend on ourselves for that very same thing. I realized that we should still be trying to learn how to live on our own in these relationships and prepare for the world because once we branch off where the world awaits us things will be completely different.

According to Loveisrespect.org statistics show that 14% of teens are currently in a relationship they consider to be serious with a boyfriend, girlfriend or a significant other. Although teenage relationships often times don’t last I believe they still teach each and every one of us a lesson. I have learned how to love and know myself just by being in a real relationship. We are still getting to know our true selves and not knowing what we are going to be or where we are going to be at the same time.

School counselors deal with issues pertaining to teen relationships on a regular basis. They try to help teens understand how to interact with the opposite sex at the level of high school.

“What bothers me the most is how many of our students especially young ladies start crossing the lines and get involved in performing wifely duties for boyfriends. It shouldn’t be going down like that,” counselor Sherry Richmond-Jackson said. “Then we forget about the risk involved. The risk of becoming mothers and fathers too soon. We also have the issue of sexually transmitted diseases and spreading them around without thought. We are thinking with our hearts instead of our heads. Not understanding that sex doesn’t solidify or validate a relationship with the opposite sex and not knowing how to say no.”

It is of course a proven fact that love can make you do crazy things, really crazy things. That brings me to the recent situation that has taken place right here in Kansas City. According to Fox 4 News, 18 year-old Mikayala Norris was murdered behind a relationship between 22 year-old Kareem McCoy-Lee and 22 year-old Bryanna Spencer. McCoy and Spencer were loved birds but then the relationship between Kareem and Bryanna turned violent. When Spencer ended the relationship, McCoy planned to kill Spencer and her mother. That’s where Norris came into the situation, it turned out that Norris and McCoy had met on “Tinder” a dating website, and he just used her for her car to go through with his plan. In the end Norris was found dead and McCoy took his own life and was found dead In Norris’s car and Spencer was nearly almost killed by McCoy in the midst of this tragedy.

Love can really mess us up mentally and emotionally it is important to remain grounded in a relationship, not letting it affect us so much in a negative way. Love can lift us up and Love can break us down, Love can heal us and Love can hurt, Love can make us feel so alive and yet Love can make us feel dead inside. How powerful this thing called Love can be. Are we too young for love? There isn’t really a “yes” or “no” way to answer this question but Love has no age, don’t rush into relationships because you “think” you love someone. Take the time to learn and grow with someone.

“Instead of us learning the person and what you like about them really and understanding the gratifications of being in a relationship we take it to a worldly level,” counselor Sherry Richmond-Jackson said.

Anybody that is going through heartbreak whatever the situation might be you can use these tips, letting go of rejection, taking care of yourself and this can help you mentally, surrounding yourself with good people, and loving yourself. We are young, we have so much more to see and experience. We can’t heal without hurt so trusting yourself and trusting your journey can move you so far and teach you a valuable lesson. Don’t rush anything. Trust me you won’t regret it!